Liberty's Library

Originally written September 16, 2004


Mornin' Everyone,

Thanks to Kirsten's insistance upon an update, I give you the Bachelor Auction Recap!

So I get to the Radisson Hotel outdoor lounge after quite a hectic work day, hair appointment, gasoline stop and paycheck pick-up. I'm a bit...okay...alot nervous, but I'm a little disappointed that I couldn't find my favorite jeans so I was stuck wearing my Sean John's which are about two inches too short in the legs. I do my best to shrug that off as I enter the outdoor lounge.

I hook up with the Emcee of the evening and the American Cancer Society (henseforth known as ACS) folks at the registration table where I hand over my Bachelor Application. They inform me that I'm supposed to "work the crowd" and mingle with all the ladies so they can see what they'll be bidding on before the auction starts. I replay that sentence in my head and for some reason my brain only registers, "Go strut your stuff and work your game on these ladies". Mind you, I work three jobs and am finishing my Meteorological Post-Grad...when do I have time to "work my game" on ANYTHING..let alone HAVE A GAME in the first place? I immediately realize that I have gotten in way over my head, but the story doesn't end there.

I didn't go screaming into the night or anything. Instead, I tried to keep in mind that if I just stuck it out the ACS would be that much closer to a cure for cancer. That kept me motivated (or distracted) enough to go and "work the crowd" for about an hour and a half. I actually met some cool people and had a good time with them. Not as bad as I thought really...it was starting to be kinda fun...until it came time to start the auction.

I was second on the auction block so I had time to collect my thoughts and try to stop sweating all over myself. It didn't work, because just like that the first bachelor was purchased and he went for $80! Eighty bucks is alot of money! Suddenly every ounce of self-confidence I ever had was drained from my 6'3" frame. "There is no way I'm gonna go for $80", I thought. I'd find out sooner than later because the Emcee had just called my name.

So, I'm up on this stage ALL ALONE in front of approx 150 girls and assorted bachelors. The emcee wasn't even up there, she was IN THE BACK of the room so I was really ALL ALONE! She read my little Bachelor Bio as I walked up the stage and the bidding began.

"Let's start the bidding at $50", she said, "do I hear $50".

Inside I'm screaming, "FIFTY BUCKS...LADY ARE YOU CRAZY", knowing that I'd never go for $50 right off the bat. But I did. Then with the auctioneer prompting $55, I got another bid from the other side of the room. The call came for $60 and the original bidder was back in the race. Miss 55 now wants $65, so it becomes a two lady race on opposite sides of the room!

By this time I'm really getting into it, I'm starting to work the room and get these bids higher and higher. Soon $65 would become $70 then $75 finally the call came for $80. I thought surely they would stop at $80 and not make the first bachelor be outbid so soon.

Well, then came $80 and we flew right on past it as the auction got hotter and hotter. Eighty dollars...eighty-five dollars...ninety dollars...ninety-five dollars...100 DOLLARS!

This was madness! Someone just bid $100 and the auctioneer was asking for $110! I couldn't believe it! This was great! The ACS was getting all this money and I had a "ripped from the pages of a citcom script" auction battle going on!

We sat on $100 for a while...looking at the other bidder to see if she would finally put that winning bid up for $110. Waiting...waiting..waiting. It never came and I was sold for $100!

So I'm going out to a fancy country club with a very nice person where we will be enjoying all the attention of a four star chef at his exclusive "Chef's Table". I'm looking forward to it, it should be fun!

There you have it. My worst fears melted away, I had a great time on the block, and the ACS made a C-Note for my little ole self. Everyone walks away a winner.

I hope you walk away with some laughs and good thoughts of charity after having read this. Take some time and think about how you could be serving others in different and unique ways.

You'll be blessed because of it!

Until I see you again,
Be good and be God's ~